I wouldn’t dissuade anyone from seeing this show for the sheer entertainment factor. Having attended some metal concerts in my past and run the gauntlet of musical tastes that I’m sure would be considered “bad,” I can appreciate the fun that something like The Darkness offered. I was excited to see them work it. From the beginning of the show, they built the drama of the entertainment factor. The packed room swelled with fans donning their matching Darkness shirts, all swirling in the build, mesmerized by the large white curtain strung across the stage only adding to the anticipation. Lights dim and against the white sheet shielding the stage,
a giant shadow of a man posing with a guitar appears. Immediately the crowd blew into an applause I haven’t heard matched (sadly) by many of the concerts I’ve attended this year.
I was certain that some pyrotechnics might be a nice touch at the beginning, but this was amiss, probably because it did not swing the venue guidelines. Instead as the music started the curtain was dropped from the top down and fell dramatically to reveal the lightshow extraordinare along with The Darkness. Enough long hair to make for a dramatic head bang, one guitarist in his Thin Lizzy t-shirt and the bass player with his handkerchief headband wrapped around his puffy dark hair--looking strikingly similar to the bass player in Spinal Tap. I thought oh yes! This is going to be fun. They started the set with a purely instrumental opening, sounding much like the beginning of an AC/DC intro riff -- except that was the whole song. The crowd went insane at this intro-turned-full-length song while the people next me were screaming “yeah! What a great way to start the show!!” With his white fuzzy low cut vest, the lead singer only wore this shirt for under a minute and off it came to expose tattoos and his black ultra low spandex complete with glitter butterfly sweeping out from the crotch area. More insanity from the crowd.
My favorite song in the entire set was “Get Your Hands Off Of My Woman, Motherfucker.” This was pretty much the whole song… if ever you hear it, you will be able to sing along with confidence. Speaking of, they actually had a little audience interaction on this one and it goes like this, “I saw ‘mother,’ you say ‘fucker.’ Some back and forth with the microphone to the audience and we all sang along. Motherfucker was the word he ended out doing high notes scales. Never heard the word done like before, but it was effective.
Favorite costume change was costume number two: A glitter blue swirly spandex with giant feather sticking out from the spine. Best band interaction: The guitar player and front man rant toward each other, did a jump and high five combo during the song. Best audience member comment: “These guys are fucking amazing… yeah!” Best heavy metal memory: I saw girls sitting on top of their boyfriends shoulders holding up lighters. A long standing metal tradition I had forgotten because I can’t imagine this ever happening at any of the shows I’ve seen lately. And I surmise it’s difficult to maintain balance mobility with your girlfriend on your shoulders in the mosh pit.
The Darkness instructed everyone to get out their lighters for their ballad, and this audience was amazing. They all had lighters up in seconds and he was counting them out. Anytime the singer would do anything (he was fond of the thumbs-up sign), the audience immediately mimicked it back. Even down to the sign of Satan, all gave the sign back, and he even took time to nicely explained to us all what that meant. I was starting to question the audience at this point. I don’t think they took Neil’s advice, but really were taking them seriously as musicians. Many people around us were not laughing and they were quite upset at the laughter coming fromour direction (one guys next to us was laughing. Three out of 2000 isn’t bad.) This thought was only later confirmed when while by the bar (after feeling the need to back away from our front stage position to avoid an increasingly ravenous crowd), I overheard three people talking about the band. One saying “You know he [the lead singer] is really working hard and not too happy with the way this tour is going. He’s such perfectionist. But I have to say this album is the best I’ve heard in 20 years.”
The problem I see with The Darkness is this: possibly they did take themselves too seriously because of all the hype and because of how seriously the audience was taking it. They finished out the encore with “(I Believe) in a Thing Called Love.” We were way at the back of the venue by then because the crowd was ravenous, but it turned out to be a good thing even though that’s the song I wanted to hear. I made the mistake of looking at the stage for the last costume change and was blinded momentarily by the flood wall of white lights that were probably used to simulate spacecraft lighting for the film Close Encounters. I might have been blinded, but the people up front probably had radiation burns.
I found myself having a lot of fun and digging on some of the tunes until The Darkness announced “Here’s a brand new one that we’ve never played before in our lives, one that we’d like to include on our second album. It’s called up shit creek without a paddle.” Uh oh. I do hope that statement was all a part of the fun. I started to get a little lost when I felt maybe they weren’t kidding and although it may have started as a wonderful concept band, they may have actually bought their own act. This required some thought on my part (after I left the show, sorry, I couldn’t help myself).
Things the Darkness might want to consider adding to future gigs to sustain the extravanganza if they are serious about a second album and tour:
1) Stuffing of the crotch (Dem’s idea). I believe this to be a brilliant idea and one that should be practiced often in these cases. With each costume change by the front man—he did three—his low cut spandex swept along his pubic line to show off his flames tattoo coming off a not so impressive package. If the flames on your tattoo run the risk of being bigger than the actual package they’re coming off of, I’d say it’s time for a new suit or a bigger sock.
2) Don’t just throw guitar picks into the audience, maybe throw the actual guitars too, because I wonder if they were needed anyway.
3) Drum solo. Where the hell was that? I was anticipating it all night long and it never came. Any self-respecting 80s throwback should know that this is the reason everyone comes to the show.
4) Additional love lost ballad. My friend Bill always told me that the only reason metal bands included them in their set was because it afforded the boyfriends time to get more drinks and make a bathroom stop. They had one ballad, which reminded me of Journey, but it just wasn’t enough.
5) More mid-air jumps ending with high-fiving on stage between guitarists. This is just fun to watch and seems to get the audience revved for the next round of one-chord solos.
6) Guitar solos played with body parts. They had the guitar solo being played behind the back, which works if you are Jimi Hendrix because you are already a guitarist. But when your pink glitter guitar has stopped being the major focal point, and you are actually trying to play the guitar, things like playing with tongues, your butt, or maybe your hair. If they had piled high 80s glam metal hair, it would have been stiff enough to pick out a couple chords.
7) Gymnastics lessons. The lead singer attempted many David Lee Roth high splits jumps (and I have seen David Lee Roth pull them off live), but he ended up looking a little like a sad rendition of leap frog or possibly kindercare tumble mat hour. Unless that was the point, then kudos Darkness for the comedy. They should add more slip and falls to the show, it might be even better.
8) Not sure if it can be done, but I might like to see a tragic gardening accident occur onstage with the drummer. Maybe he could practice horticulture while doing his drum solo and then self-combust…. And they could pull someone out of the audience to go on tour with them as replacement drummer. It would be a combination of the movies Spinal Tap and Rock Star.
9) Try to hide the surprised expression that you are actually onstage playing music. Mr. Thin Lizzy t-shirt man reminded me throughout of someone saying, “Hey everybody look at me… I’m playing a guitar!” I swear when he had to do the third guitar change, he was still feeling around inspecting the guitar like “Where the heck does this thing unplug from?” Then the roadie had to help him figure it out, so it’s good that they have some assistance.
10) Go to 11.
--Becky
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